G8: Of Global Warming and Topless Models

Every year the top leaders of the world gather together at a tourist retreat for an inconsequential and rather futile meeting termed as the G8 Summit. Each year it is build up as a place where some of the biggest leaders of the world will discuss issues like global warming and nuclear disarmament. But, what it turns out instead is just a waste of taxpayer’s money and a holiday for the leaders with their wives and children. This year’s summit is no different. Instead of hearing about the critical world issues, we often hear stories about Carla Bruni missing the summit or about the fact that the Italian Prime Minister has invited a former topless model to escort the guests. Here is a sample meeting that might be taking place between the leaders at the summit. The leaders in the meeting are Barack Obama (US A), Vladimir Putin (Russia), Hu Jintao (China), Silvio Berlusconi (Italy), Nicholas Sarkozy (France) and Gordon Brown (UK).

Obama: I believe there needs to be a CHANGE in the world. We need to change to change the way people see change so that people believe in change.
Hu Jintao: Ya we need to change. You capitalists have destroyed the world. What the world needs is good old communism. Go REDS.
Gordon Brown: REDS? Are you talking about Manchester United?
Hu Jintao: No you fool, I was talking about communism, haven’t you heard about Lenin?
Obama: Let’s not get into mudslinging. We are the leaders of the world; the people around the world have shown faith in us. We have to make decisions that not only affect us but also the future generations to come. We are hereto CHANGE.
Berlusconi: Ya, he is right. Let’s discuss some of the important topics. I hear the new French first lady is quite a hottie. Quite a pity that she couldn’t be here with us today.
(Meanwhile, Sarkozy is on the phone with Bruni)
Sarkozy on the phone: Yes baby, I will get you the finest wine from here. I love you darling, Bye.
(Suddenly the Japanese PM enters from another room)
Japanese PM: I am sorry, but I was looking for the loo. Can anyone tell me where the loo is?
Obama: Yes, the loo is second door to your left.
Putin: No, it’s the third door to your right.
Obama: No, it’s to your left.
Putin: It’s to your right.
Obama: Why are you misleading him?
Putin: Why, have you goat problem with that? What you gonna do, are you gonna send a missile up my ass?
Obama: No, I won’t. But I will certainly sign friendly treaties with all your neighbors allowing me access to their military bases, so that you will be completely isolated.
(Obama and Putin still engaged in a quarrel)
Berlusconi to Sarkozy: Where did you find such a hottie?
Sarkozy: Please, mind your language; she is a first lady now. We just met at a bar.
Berlusconi: What was the pick up line that you used? Please give me some tips dude, it’s been a long time since I have been with a woman without actually paying her?
(The Japanese PM still controlling himself)
Japanese PM: Can anyone please tell me where the toilet is?
Gordon Brown: I will surely tell you where it is if you promise to put in billions of dollar worth of investment in Britain and agree to sign an arms deal with us. You must also promise that your companies won’t in any way harm the financial interests of UK.
Japanese PM: Ya, I promise, now can you please tell me where the toilet is?
Gordon Brown: Actually there are fifteen toilets in this building. On our floor itself thee are three toilets, which one would you like to go to?
Japanese PM feeling desperate: The one that is closest.
Gordon Brown: Closest to whom?
Japanes PM feeling more desperate: Closest to me, you jerk.
Gordon Brown: Now, that’s a tricky question. If you measure in yards, the two toilets are approximately 25 yards away while the third one…..
(Suddenly the Japanese PM is feeling completely relieved)
Japanese PM: There is no need for that now. That’ll be all.